eye-lash curlers, hardwood floors, and impulsiveness

Today I got thinking about what I would like to do over reading week. You know, those 7 glorious days university students get off that reminds us that there is still hope shimmering at the end of this dark, damp, and otherwise depressing tunnel known as the post-secondary institution? Ya, it used to be called suicide prevention week...I wonder why.

Anyway, in a fabulous world my week of freedom would consist of the following events and other such displays of awesome:

• sign on as a ninja-pirate and stealthily sail around the Galapagos Islands
• crawl into a hole at the end of the rainbow and morph into a unicorn
• lead a legion of evil flying monkeys in conquering the Earth's inhabitants
• grow wings to lead said assault
• throw an un-birthday tea party complete with grandly upholstered chairs, sparkling red wine, and the ultimate meat loaf on toast
• eat deluxe popcorn three meals a day
• crash Prince Charming's birthday ball wearing that wonderfully non-ball-appropriate, polka-dot 80s Nine West dress, blatantly ignoring the now deeply offended, aforementioned prince
• organise and execute a free hugs campaign
• host 'Christmas in July' in February
• document my adventures so as to later sell them, thus making my fortune and allowing me to accomplish my final task:
• comfortably retire by March 1, 2011 at the ripe old age of 19

Phew! I've really got my work cut out for me, so if you'll excuse me, 

I have to go milk a cow.